


The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Exactitude

by trinitarias



Category: The Poppy War - R. F. Kuang
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:21:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24793810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trinitarias/pseuds/trinitarias
Summary: ‘I’m going to run for student council president,’ she informs him, expression so serious he’d think she’s talking about running away from her foster family.‘Why?’ he asks even though he already knows.Yin Nezha is running too.or: Rin runs, Kitay helps and Nezha is Himself.
Relationships: Chen Kitay & Fang Runin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 102





	The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Exactitude

Kitay loves Rin. He loves her passion, her stubbornness, her ability to be the most applied student in her classes if she really wanted to, her sense of being grander-than-life, her terrible humor and her mile-wide competitive streak.

This is a problem. Because he always, always ends up doing things that he knows will end up in disaster but he follows anyway because that’s his best friend. If she’s going to be stupid, he might as well be there for her so they can be stupid together. Putting these things together, it should be rather obvious what happens when one afternoon while studying AP History, Rin suddenly snaps her book shut. Kitay briefly glances up at her, wild eyes and spine rigid and he barely has time to think _oh no_ before she opens her mouth and says –

‘I’m going to run for student council president,’ she informs him, expression so serious he’d think she’s talking about running away from her foster family.

‘Why?’ he asks even though he already knows.

Yin Nezha is running too.

She plays with her short braid and pretends to not hear him.

‘I just think,’ she says, ‘I could really make a difference—‘

‘And bruise Nezha’s ego in the process?’ he finishes for her.

She smirks.

Fang Runin and Yin Nezha become enemies when they’re 14 years old in a typical fashion – he calls her a stupid poor little bitch in front of the Academy, she punches him in the face but doesn’t get suspended because it wasn’t in school grounds. By lunch, everyone’s either in awe of her or absolutely terrified. Kitay’s well within the former but did understand the latter. They become friends instantly.

At 15, Yin Nezha lights Rin’s locker on fire (there’s no proof he did this, but the little satisfied smile when he saw Rin’s burned hair makes him a very, very good suspect) which sets in motion the worst prank war in the academy’s history. No one wins, everyone is angry, and director Jima gives them a stern talking that mostly tells them that if they’re going to keep this up, just don’t do it here.

At 16, the student body is visibly anxious about the shit they’re going to be pulling this year.

When Yin Nezha makes his intentions of running for Student Council President loud and clear, everyone can already tell it will not end well for someone. They just don’t know who that someone is; them, the academy’s property, the teachers, Nezha himself or Rin.

The Cike, as they call themselves, are a weird group of kids. For starters, no one knows their last names (or so Rin has heard) so whenever attendance is called there’s this uncomfortable moment of trying to read something that’s not there – an awkward pause, a moment of confusion and then realization. It’s Just Those Weird Kids. No Big Deal.

From Ramsa, the smallest boy in his class with a passion for chemistry that gets him in trouble at least twice a week, Baji who’s all bite and snark and one of the academy’s judo champions along with Suni, the largest and kindest person in his grade with a gift for psychology, Unegen, who gets in everyone’s nerves and always answers correctly to the strangest questions, to the weirdest of the bunch, Aratsha, who looks like a confused mermaid lost in land and has a fantastic mind for biology.

They can’t be kicked out of the Academy because they’re the Charity Cases and absolutely everyone knows them by name, looks or reputation. If they were, there would be big words to be had about _privilege_ , _capitalism_ , and _poor education system_. Jima Laim cares for none of it, so they stay. They’re virtually untouchable.

And naturally, they dislike what Yin Nezha represents as much as Fang Runin does. Therefore, they are the best option for the operation ‘Ruin Nezha’s Campaign And Make Rin’s Flourish (or Crash and Burn. Whatever happens first)’.

On Monday, posters with the worst of Yin Nezha’s baby and early teen pictures are scattered thought the academy. They read in bold red letters, ‘THIS IS YOUR PRESIDENT!’

Sring Venka fumes, collects them and rips them apart.

(Nezha knows that the only person who had access to those besides himself and his family is Chen Kitay. He tells the director Jima Laim this but gets no answer because there is no proof. Nezha walks out of her office and rips his Geography textbook apart.)

On Tuesday, every blackboard in the academy’s property has a list of suspicious things Yin Nezha and his family have done such as blackmailing professors to keep their silence on violent and abrasive behavior from Nezha’s part or his entourage, large academy donations for no reasons at all, and under the list is a question – this is your president?

By lunch, it’s everywhere. Yin Vaisra visits the Academy for the first time in years. He has words with Jima.

On Wednesday, there are pictures of every single _silly little prank_ made during last year’s war. Yin Nezha finds a picture of Fang Runin with her hair burnt in his locker and he loses it. The sentence under it says: this is what your president has done.

Kitay isn’t even five minutes late for lunch and yet when he walks into the cafeteria he wishes he was surprised. There’s a huge crowd yelling _Fight! Fight! Fight!_ in the middle of it; the amount of scared students around the crowd is large yet no one moves to call a teacher. He doesn’t need to ask; he knows who’s fighting. He tries to make his way into the crowd but then he gets a glimpse of them – Nezha’s on the floor and Rin is on top of him, his nose looks bloody and his face scratched. He has a fistful of her hair and she’s trying to free herself from him when he hears a ripping sound and Rin’s hair is gone from her head. She screams.

When she gets like this, nothing can stop her. So he runs to get Teacher Sonen and Teacher Jun since they’re the ones Most Likely to Actually Do Something. They get them apart – somehow – and walk them straight to Jima’s office. He can only hope Rin doesn’t get herself expelled.

At 2 PM, the student body is called to the gymnasium. Director Jima is standing in the middle of it, with both Rin and Nezha sitting by her side. She taps her microphone and everyone quiets down. She clears her throat.

‘Sinegard Academy absolutely does not encourage the kind of behavior that Yin Nezha and Fang Runin have displayed during their Presidency campaign. Therefore, we – the teachers and I – as the academy’s undisputable authorities have decided to remove them from the candidate pool. Automatically, this means that Suren Qara is the new student council president. And to avoid any other issues, Suren Chaghan will continue with his duties as a Vice President after his term with Trengsin Altan concludes. Thank you all. Return to your classes.’

The applause is deafening. Rin, uniform crumpled, beat up and with a chunk of hair missing, glows with satisfaction. Nezha looks the angriest Kitay has ever seen him.

So he claps. He supposes this is a win for them, in some way.

After, he goes with Rin to get a haircut and ice cream. She’s so happy it’s impossible not to smile along with her as she mocks Nezha’s campaign speech word by word.

‘Asshole,’ she says cackling.

‘Asshole,’ Kitay repeats with feeling.

**Author's Note:**

> title is from _Easy A_.
> 
> The Poppy War: absolutely bleak  
> me: ok. Time for SHENANIGANS.
> 
> i love these disaster children too much for my own heart... thinking of The Burning God and feeling the dread. thank you for reading! if you find any spelling mistakes, please let me know.


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